Kwentos

Why this play was called Viagra Falls is a mystery to me, but it was certainly quite the experience.  I have managed to avoid playing major roles in my theatrical career so this is without a doubt the biggest role I have ever faced on so many levels.

The play is an autobiographical tale about George Birimisa, a New York playwright who has lived an incredible life.  The play starts off in his youth, back in the 30s.  Then his experiences in the military in the 40s.  His marriage.  Then finally the greatest love of his life.  We performed it yesterday and I am overwhelmed.  Nine of my friends showed up and many missed it simply because the title caused my e-mail announcement to be destroyed by spam killers.

I came to the show a couple of months ago, when my friend David talk me to meet George.  I don’t consider myself an actor and have always preferred supporting roles, being part of the team.  David pushed me to read for the role of George, but I avoided it.  However, he left me alone with George for a few minutes and I fell for the trap.  George asked me to read a monologue about his wife’s abortion.  I read it, it tore my heart out, and will continue to do so every time those words come out of my mouth.  He asked me to reconsider playing a supporting role.  He wanted me to play George, and it was a great honor to do so– much greater than I was aware of at the time.

Elaine Walenta is the drama teacher at the school I work.  She agreed to jump into this project with me, playing my mother and later a friend of my boyfriend who propels my writing career.  What a fantastic performance!  Many of my friends singled out her letter writing monologue as one of their favorite moments in the show!  IT WAS SO FUN TO WORK WITH HER!!!  At the end of our first scene, we go from fighting about my abusive stepfather to her going into complete denial.  Her last night is a loving and exciting announcement about what she is about to cook for dinner, but it sent a shiver down my spine.  Brilliant!  At the end of the show, she was bouncing off the walls with enjoyment (along with her guest Andy and another co-worker of ours, Kenyatta).  None of us could even leave the venue, just clinging onto the high of the performance!  Kenyatta gave me the biggest hug after the performance that just filled my soul.  I miss doing theater, but honestly roles like this don’t come by that often.  [There were two other teachers in the audience supporting us, George Irving and Casey Desai.  It truly made me happy to have the support of my co-workers, it made me appreciate that I truly do have friends at work.  It puts a big smile on my face.]

My childhood tales are filled with stories of sexual abuse.  Playing different ages and simulating some sexual material on stage certainly was a breach of my comfort zone.  When I got to the scene with the social worker that was going to send me away for being busted at a park in the middle of the night, my legs were shaking uncontrollably!  The whole time I was sitting there I was trying to figure out if I was acting or I was getting insanely nervous about being on stage.

Then there were the scenes from the military.  Monologues about being at war and scenes leading to my discharge for being a homosexual.

I finally met Trauma Flintstone.  I have seen the name all over the place, but wow!  This guy is phenomenal.  His energy is incredible, hysterical, and bring out the slightest nuances impeccably.  What an honor to share the stage with him and how intimidating!  He played my first relationship and later me and my boyfriend’s pimp, Sally.  It killed me trying to stifle my laughter.  In our first scene with him as Sally, I am scrutinized as a potential gigolo.  I get left with him and at the very end of the scene, he gave this slightest inflection that let you know that he will be developing feelings for me later on.  I was blown away!  In our last scene together, I get all emotional while trying to convince him that my sadistic boyfriend really loves me.  He took my energy and redirected it to get huge laughs from the audience while maintaining the intense feelings that both of us were feeling in that moment.  My friends said, he was keeping an eye on me throughout the show.  I hope he has tips for me because I would love to be able to command a stage like he does!

The next relationship my character gets involved in is his attempt to become straight with his wife, Nancy (played by Kate White).  Some of my friends felt she gave one of the most compelling performances, in part Nancy is one of the easiest to understand and we have enough time with her to do so.  And it is a plus that she delivered a great reading.  It is in this scene where I end up having to do that abortion monologue that nobody is going to forget.  Unfortunately, I played it too low to the ground and the back rows could only hear me.  However, my co-workers were watching Elaine as I was doing the monologue and when she started crying they indirectly got a taste of what they were missing.  George’s writing is the most emotionally intense and sincere writing I have ever seen!

Act 2.  I finally meet Mike, the man of my dreams.  It was a struggle to find an actor who had the courage to take on this role and two days before the show we find Michael Soldier.  Another brilliant actor.  Ack!  I have to share the stage with him and Trauma at one point and I felt like a minnow among sharks.  These guys were awesome.  I actually meet him at the end of Act 1 in a brilliant and subtle scene at a bar that (when analyzed) reveals some of our deepest motivations and fears.  Needless to say, we do not have the healthiest of relationships in the world.  In fact, it is quite horrible, but love was there in a twisted and veiled way. 

The first scene that my friends commented on was when he begs me never to leave him.  It ends with him grabbing my head and giving me the biggest kiss.  Many of my friends have never seen me in a passionate kiss before so it blew them away.  Honestly, I did not even see it coming and the thought of the kiss makes me blush.  My friends wanted to know how it felt and they asked me right in front of my guy.  Evan just looked at me and said, "Yeah.  Great kiss."  His expression was priceless.

My favorite scene with him is after we first break up and he gets out of jail.  He calls me in New York from California, asking us to move back in together.  Well he is pretty much telling me.  After everything we go through in the script, I hear that he still really loves me and cares about me.  I know it is a bad idea to get back into all that, but I just can’t help it because he needs me.  And well, I need him too.  Ok, so here is where I confess.  I am a terrible actor.  I have no technique.  All I can do is be there and experience it.  So what I miss the most about doing this play (even just a day away) is being in love.  When the rehearsing began, I had a very hard time delivering any line that required me to be vulnerable and in love.  I did not want to allow myself to feel that again.  Well, I did it and now I am in love with Mike Sands and I miss him.  And he does not really exist.  George, if you are reading this, I do thank you for letting me into your soul.  It was quite the journey.  Ugh, in the emotional scene with Sally I mentioned earlier where I am trying to convince him that Mike and I are in love, I talk about being tied up and what it means to me.  And I understand it, deep down inside, I do.  And it is a beautiful feeling.  Scary.

Anyway, everyone’s favorite scene is in the end.  Mike and I broke up again and he eventually tracks me down and comes to my apartment with a sword.  He is absolutely out of his mind, angry at my leaving him twice (in his mind) and my dumb ass denies it.  At least until he holds the sword to my neck.  Mike & I truly pulled off the scene brilliantly.  My co-workers were freaking out.  They were so sure he was going to kill me, even though they knew the real George was standing right before them and wrote the script.  They just knew it would end with my death.  Instead, I stare into his eyes, touch his face, tell him I love him, and give him one final kiss.  Then he leaves.  Overwhelming.

So many people could not believe that Michael and I only knew each other for two days.  It is so awesome to step off stage and have an audience convinced that you have a real relationship with your stage lover.  So that was my journey with this play.  I don’t want it to be over.