Kwentos

     Every year I believe it is necessary to reflect on events gone by and remember to give thanks for all that has made life so special.  So here are my top 10 for 2006 and the thanks to go with it…

1.  In February I went on my first cruise and it was the best trip of my life so far.  The abundance of quality food was glorious for me.  The best being the quality pizza at all times of the day that came in especially handy after a night of dancing and the opportunity to experiment with sorbets at no added cost so I could learn to eat dessert.  Of course there was so much more to the trip than simply food, there were various wonderful destinations to explore and great dancing.  Sundance Saloon made this an official trip and had several nights of dancing.  As a manager of the organization, this gave me the opportunity to wear my "host" hat and be more social than I am normally able.  I met many great people and got to share my love of dance with them.  I even got to sing an original duet with my friend Peter W. at the talent show.  It was the most fun I have ever had and in such a wonderful setting.  I remember admiring the view with David R. one afternoon, it was breath-taking.

2.  I made many friends along the way that helped me grow and experience new things.  At the start of the year, I had met a guy named Alex who got me excited about trying things I never thought I would.  It was a really a necessary first step for me and it was nice to be stimulated in that way. I also met a guy named Trevor who encouraged me to step outside my comfort zone and socialize with new people.  We were at his house one night when I got reacquainted with a former friend of mine (Tom B.) and enjoyed myself immensely.  Having a great time with people is always a blessing, but when they all tell you that they would like to see more of you after that it makes it even more special.

3.  I had the opportunity to participate in a staged reading of a play in progress written by and about George Birimisa, the first openly gay playwright to be awarded a Rockerfeller Foundation Grant.  It was an honor to play George himself in what was the biggest and most powerful role I have ever played.  The experience was an intense emotional rollercoaster as I lived through his life with him and pushed the boundaries of what I believed I was capable of.  Sharing the stage with Trauma Flinstone and Michael Soldier was so exhilarating and intimidating!  Also, my co-worker Elaine Walenta joined the cast and was brilliant!  The show was such a joy and wonderful opportunity.  I wish I could have shared it with more of my friends!

4.  My mother came to visit in July to see her mother and brother.  I had not seen in a decade, which is not something I am proud of but it is what it is.  It was just terrific to spend time with her again.  She has made me everything that I am and I know that is a lot to be thankful for.  The highlight of our time together was when we were walking home and she mentioned that she was thinking of getting a tattoo.  I think she expected to surprise me (which she did), but I was already scheduled for a tattoo myself and so the surprise was on her.  The key thing here is that she was just as excited about it as I was, and how many people can say that about their moms!  A couple of years ago, she housed my partner Ben during his travels around North America without having met him previously and made him feel like family, and that is an unbelievable accomplishment.  I love her so much and I am so proud to call her mom!

5.  July was a time for rebirth for me.  Therapy was going slow, but there were other people in my life that were triggering things in my brain to help along with the healing.  Ralph Thomas, bless you for asking me the right questions at the right times and teaching me to slow down.  Your affinity for the enneagram also opened me up to a world of ideas that have aided me and many of my friends when we needed.  Thomas Groden, thank you for letting me see the world through your eyes.  Your eyes are more open than any I have known.  The two of you together had inadvertently given me back a lot of the strength that I have lost in recent times.  Getting my tattoo was the final step in my rebirth.  Though the physical agony may have been a part of the experience, it was the ability to celebrate my identity through art that makes it most powerful.  I often forget it is there on my back and I don’t even remember the last time I saw it, but strangely enough it still gives me strength and pride.

6.  So maybe timing is everything, who knows, but July ended with the greatest thing that could ever happen… I met Scott Cox.  It all started innocently enough as I saw he had checked out my Friendster account and we had a lot in common.  Mostly I needed more theater buddies to push me to put myself out there, but who knew this guy would end up stealing my heart.  He is a true gentleman with a great spirit for life.  I have so much to learn from him and so much to share that it makes every day so exciting.  Many of you have met him and know exactly how lucky I am.  If you have not met him yet, you will.  The first few weeks of getting to know him were so much fun, but the highlight of the year would have to be my birthday.  He took me to a lovely restaurant for lunch where he officially "asked me out".  I was speechless.  It was wonderful.

7.  I love teaching clogging.  I love learning new steps and putting it together in a fun dance to share with others.  Another great day of the year was when I went to meet with Janice Hanzel to go over the stuff I was developing for our Monday night classes.  She is actually the original artistic director of the Barbary Coast Cloggers and has done a lot to keep me on track as the executive director and an instructor.  It was a fun day with great food and conversation, but also the support she has given me has inspired me to continue moving forward.

The teaching highlight of the year was the opportunity to teach at the Tommyknocker Jamboree in October.  The dance I taught was "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" but I also had a chance to do a quick teach of "Buttons" and demonstrate "Pon de Replay", all of which were very well received.  After my class, Dan Goldes approached me to tell me how much he enjoyed it and checked in about other stuff.  It was as if we were the best of friends again and nothing could have made me happier.  I have many people who have really supported my teaching in this last year and continuously inspired me through their kindness and commitment.  It makes me feel so wonderful to see Brian W. and Steve B. doing "Pon de Replay" out of class and my youngest student, Cheyenne, got me to choreograph “Appalachian Joy” which became the first clogging routine of mine to be publicly performed.

At the Tommyknocker event, I got a strong sense of the importance of the clogging community and I was so proud to be a part of it.  There have been so many wonderful people I have met at these events, but none have done more for me than Hal and Barbara Sowers.  They have supported me from the moment I first met them at the March Madness clogging event in Danville two years ago, often times checking up on me to make sure I am doing ok or when I will be teaching at other venues.  I had such a wonderful and powerful conversation with Hal after teaching at the convention.  Their support of me has made me feel like family more than anything else and it is definitely very special to me.

8.  Our show for the Richmond-Ermet AIDS Foundation became quite the unexpected highlight.  Due to our hectic schedule, I had been discouraged to follow through with this, but I went ahead any way and still managed to get 8 guys to perform.  We were to do two numbers at the start of the show and then the show ends with Nancy Sinatra and the rest of us dressed in Santa suits.  I had a couple of reservations going in, but the big one was that a Los Angeles choreographer was being brought in who had no clogging background.  So I prepared my own choreography and asked to meet with her an hour before rehearsals to go over the material.  She came with Broadway choreography and I showed her what I had prepared.  She had no problem collaborating with me at all, no egos, so we went with my step work which she staged.  It was not after it was all done that I realized that this was the first time that the cloggers had officially performed my choreography.  Another thing we did not realize was that the audience was not going to recognize us in the Santa suits!  We started dancing half way through the song and the crowd went wild in a way we had not experienced before.  Afterwards, all the guys were absolutely beaming from the experience and so grateful that they went for it despite the Santa suits, the performance was called historical by a prominent guest, and 7 of the 8 dancers had our significant others in the audience to share the experience.  It was beyond incredible!

9. The 25th Anniversary celebration of the Barbary Coast Cloggers is a big deal.  In my first full year as the Executive Director of the group, I could not let this event pass without making a big deal of it.  Our creative committee had thrown out some ideas, but I wasn’t sure if anything was being followed through.  Then the Napa Valley Opera House expressed interest in a two-hour show that we did not have so I pitched them a show where we showcase the diversity of clogging in the first act with many brilliant guest performers (who did this for us at no cost) and then a bluegrass second act with the Barbary Coast Cloggers and the Stairwell Sisters.  The show was a success and the whole day went brilliantly.  I have two special choreographers to thank for the inspiration: Holly Whipple of Prestige and denise Everett of Cowtown whose brilliant performances inspired me to pull the community together.

It has been the busiest year of the group and as much as I avoided taking credit for all these events that have fallen into my lap, I am finally realizing that it has been my follow through that made it all come to be.  I could not have made this season happen without the guys, but the true spirit of it all is Matt Ellinger- whose commitment has kept this group together and continuing to perform with the kind of energy that keeps our audiences coming back for more.

10.  The Christmas holidays helped remind me as well that I am also very blessed to have such good people in my family.  I got to see my father a couple of times this year, who continues to support me in his way. He had met Scott during an earlier visit and accepted him in the family from day one as they began plotting against me to live healthier.  He gave Scott a very powerful and meaningful hug and acknowledge that my healthier and happier appearance are all due to him.  I have my sister and her two phenomenally cool, talented, smart, and sassy daughters for keeping me connected to family.  I had some big surprises for Scott this Christmas, but so did the rest of my family who all bought him wonderful presents.  He got me a cell phone (there, the cat is out of the bag) which is as much a gift to everyone as it is to me.  The love of family is something many take for granted, but it isn’t usually expected by those of us who are gay.  My family continues to love me and those I bring into the family unconditionally and that means the world to me.

     Yes, I am very lucky.  Not only for these wonderful experiences, but to have crossed the paths of all these people who made it possible.  Thanks everyone for 2006 and let’s make the next year an even better one!